10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before A Big Change
Find inner clarity in the face of new beginnings with these important and revealing questions.
Change can be exciting. Change can be scary. It can be chosen or forced, planned or unexpected, welcome or unwanted. It can be a confusing mix of some or all of the above. But one thing that’s for sure? It happens to us all.
Moving home. Leaving a job. Ending a relationship. These are just three of the top ten most stressful life events we might face, according to research carried out by Benenden Health. So, whatever the life-altering decision happens to be, leaping forward into a big change can feel incredibly daunting, even when you’re sure it’s the right thing to do.
Further Reading: The 6 Rs: Handling Resistance In Relationships
For the occasions when you’re in control of the change, it can be helpful to pause and reflect on the change you’re considering. Read on to uncover ten revealing questions that can assist you when making a big personal change, whether you’re still in the process of assessing whether a change is needed or you’re actively weighing up your next steps after making the decision to dive into a new beginning.
Sometimes change comes completely unexpectedly. You may not have the luxury of taking things slowly and pondering your options. These kinds of changes can feel shocking, destabilising and leave you with a sense of powerlessness or loss of control. If you are finding it difficult to cope with a period of change, please consider visiting the mental health resources page for more information on getting the support you deserve.
10 Revealing Questions To Ask Yourself Before A Big Change:
Question 1: What is the change that I’m facing?
The first step is to clearly define the change you're considering. It can be tempting to dive in headfirst without truly thinking about the implications of the change. Conversely, you might find your head spinning with all the potential ramifications, catastrophizing the change and focusing on the worst possible outcomes.
Take a moment to breathe, and think rationally about the situation. What is the change that you’re facing? What exactly are you thinking about doing? Once you have a clear understanding of the change, you can start to think about the bigger picture.
Question 2: What are my reasons for making this change?
This question is all about clarifying your motivations behind making the change. Why are you craving a change? There might be one glaring, obvious reason for change, or there may be a number of factors that have added up. The desire for change may be due to some longer term circumstances that have been troubling you for a while, or a more recent event that has prompted thoughts of moving on and starting afresh.
Try to be as honest with yourself as possible. Think about the underlying feelings behind wanting a change, and whether a major shakeup is the best way to address them. Either way, you’ll have a little more clarity around your own emotions, needs and current priorities.
Question 3: What might I gain from this change?
Once you’ve outlined the change you’re facing and the reasons behind it, it’s time to do some thinking around what you hope to achieve. What are your goals? How do you want to feel after making this change? What might your life look like as a result?
These gains might be material or financial, but equally they might be emotional. For example, you may hope to feel feel happier, less anxious or like a weight has been lifted. Consider the full range of benefits that could come from making this change. These are your motivating factors and, if you do hit a rough patch, you’ll have these potential gains as a reminder of why you set off on this path.
Question 4: What challenges might I face?
As discussed, a change in circumstances can be a major stress factor. It would be unrealistic to expect that implementing a big change in your life will come without challenges or complications. You can’t predict every outcome but, depending on the change you’re considering making, there may be challenges that are easier to forecast. How might you overcome these challenges?
As above, consider this question from multiple angles. Will there be emotional challenges alongside the more practical ones? Do the gains/benefits you’ve already outlined outweigh the potential challenges?
Question 5: Who can support me through this change?
Making a huge change can take an emotional toll, so it’s worth considering who you can lean on for support during this time. Do you have ample support in your life to see you through a potentially turbulent period? Who can you turn to when times get tough? Who can be a sounding board for your fears and concerns? Who might be able to help you with the practical aspects of the change?
Before leaping into change, consider sharing your thoughts and plans with your support system. They may be able to provide guidance and advice or, if these aren’t needed, an empathic ear. Sharing what’s going on will also alert them to the fact that things might be somewhat difficult for you going forward, and that you might require a little more attention or support from them than usual.
Question 6: How can I prepare for this change?
Do you have everything you need to make the change a success? What measures can you put in place to make the change as smooth a process as possible? Think about your answers to these questions as well as the ones you’ve already answered. For example, how can you prepare for the potential challenges of this change?
There may be obvious practical elements to your preparation, but consider too your emotional needs; what can you do before things get underway to make this an ultimately positive, healing experience for yourself?
Question 7: Does this change need to happen right now?
You might feel as though change is your only option. You may feel desperate to dive into a fresh start. But a key question to ask yourself is - is this the right time? Does the change need to happen now, or could it wait for a more opportune moment? Is there a great rush, or can you ponder this decision for a little longer?
Whatever the answer, there’s something about being aware of how urgent the change actually is, and to act accordingly. Some changes need to happen right away, whereas other changes could do with a little more prep/thinking time. A change may be the right move, but it may not be the right move right now.
Question 8: Am I confident in my decision?
Can you stand behind your decision to make a change? Do you feel, deep down, that this is the right path for you? Take some time to carefully weigh up your pros and cons, the gains and the challenges, and see where the scales stand.
Ultimately, the decision of whether or not to make a change is up to you. It’s essential to be confident in your decision and to trust your gut. You should also remember that there’s no right or wrong way of approaching this; you can only do your best with the option that feels right for you.
Question 9: Do I need a backup plan?
Even the most well thought through, carefully constructed plans can go awry, so it’s a good idea to have a backup plan in place. Take some time to consider what you’ll do if things don’t work out in the way you’d planned. What could go wrong? How might you recover?
It might sound pessimistic but, in actual fact, having a backup plan is a key element in your ability to have confidence in your decision to seek change. With a plan to fall back on you can enter into this period of change with the confidence that, whatever happens, you’ve considered all the options and planned accordingly.
Question 10: Am I ready for this change?
The final and perhaps most important question of all - are you truly ready to make this change? Have you made the necessary preparations, including pinpointing your support system and assessing the need for a backup plan?
Whatever path you choose, remember that big changes don’t happen overnight. It’s perfectly okay to start small, and work your way through this at your own pace. Be patient, be realistic and, whatever happens, know that there’s no shame in asking for help.
